Unintentional tirades come with the ebb and the flow of my mentality, my sanity and my lucidity. I don’t have much now so I bitch 10x more, but I think it’s valid, in the moment anyhow, as I ramble maniacally and hate my sobriety I get set off by a word or a thought and don’t shut the fuck up. It’s a bad quality, really.
So, sister posts a fb pic of her edited as a zombie from a walking dead app and she’s eating through a fence all gorey with zombie teeth and says “how i wake up in the morning”
Mom says “lol it runs in the family”
someone says “Dead sexy!”
I say “aren’t you happy you’re the one who got braces?”
I say “Oh by the way, guys (to mom and sister), I hate to inform you that I wake up beautiful. Ask anyone!”
Mom: I know someone who went through the process of getting braces…I even had to pay for them even though she refused to go to the appointments. Fought it so hard we only got halfway through. Finally wasn’t worth the fight. Your teeth still turned out perfect even though it was only partially completed. You got lucky. [sister] made every appointment with no problem.
Me: Teeth are in my head for a purpose, to grind food and help me make mouth sounds to speak. They are not there to be perfect, to be a waste of money. I never wanted your money wasted nor my mouth changed, I have all my widsom teeth in half way, and my mouth is small so they crowd my teeth as they are meant to do, wisdom teeth are a necessity to push out bad teeth if there are any, when it is time, I love my mouth and my teeth, I had that shit stuck in mouth so long that it gave me migraines, I stopped eating because I couldn’t close my mouth properly, I couldn’t chew, I had no room for my tongue, because of that thing i had to turn with a key on top and the thing which made me a human beer bottle opener (thank you btw) on the bottom. If you didn’t notice that pint in time in which I never saw you. Finally someone threw some money at someone to get that shit ripped out of my skull, thank god. I appreciate the effort, but man, you should listen before putting a torture device in someones head, I guess I got what I deserved for being defiant, everyone forgetting it was there but me.
They told you my teeth were not centered to my face and it seemed like a tragedy to you. I remember they drew a dot on my forehead and lead the pen down to show my teeth, which are less than a quarter of an inch off, and the bottoms do whatever the fuck they want, they’re for mastication, the top, probably, evolutionarily speaking are for aestheticics and to show another humans state of health and cleanliness. So if I am happy with mine, in every way, and have no physical problems, why would you change the way I am perceived? Was that quarter of an inch a flaw that had to be reshaped? Well what about when I told you I had depression, and never slept, was that ever considered something that should be molded differently instead of “you’re a teenager, you’re supposed to be depressed”.
I just think it’s a waste of time and money and didn’t mean to go on a tirade. If not for medicinal or personal reasons, leave it alone. If I say not to give me a nose job, would you still? That’s how I felt about my teeth, and you got to resent me for paying for that shit.
Mom: Well,lol I won’t apologize for being a parent and caring about my daughters appearance and wanting to help care for her teeth. lol I’m sure all parents would cringe to see your definition above. Jeesh.
Me: MY APPEARANCE! YOU MADE ME! Why would you change me?
Mom: If your teeth are crooked and overlapping the typical thing to do is to straighten them so you have a beautiful smile.
Me: What in the hell does that mean? As you said, it never got finished, never even close, and my smile is made of goddamn sunshine.
Mom:They were in long enough to be of great help.
Mom: Your smile may be made of goddamn sunshine but your mouth isn’t!
Me:You know why? Because I have chronic depression and on the rare occasions I do smile, it’s fucking magical. And not because of my crooked (awesome) teeth.
Mom: Imagine what it would be like if you smiled that magical smile more often.
Me: Precisely, Imagine that.